Rev. Paul K. Phillips
Pastor Paul

     All of us are caregivers. First, we take care of ourselves. Then, we take care of others; our children, parents, grandparents, other family members, friends. Unfortunately, many of us get the order reversed and only care for ourselves after we have cared for others. That can lead us down the slippery slope of getting overly tired and stressed out. The demands of caring for others may become so great that eventually we get sick. It is a difficult balancing act to weigh the importance of caring for a loved one and caring for one’s own health. Caring for one’s self is not a selfish act; it is prudent and wise, or we wouldn’t have the strength and energy to care for our loved ones.
     I know how hard it is to give ourselves a break. We may ask, “How or where can I give myself time to rest? One thing we can do is find others to help us share the load. We can also set limits and keep to them. The story of Mary and Martha is one example from the Bible where Mary seems to have set a priority of selfcare.
     While Martha is distracted and busy with all the preparations of having Jesus visit their home, Mary isresting at Jesus’ feet and listening to him. Martha gets upset. I imagine Martha is running on low reserves. She asks Jesus, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” [Luke 10:40]
     Jesus’ response to Martha is an important message for all of us caregivers. He says, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” [Luke 10:41-42] We do need time with our Lord. However, instead of making this a priority we often make it the last thing we do as we hit the pillow. Then, we can barely say our prayers before we fall asleep, exhausted and spent. We need to give ourselves permission to sit and listen to Jesus, to rest in the Lord, throughout the day.
     I don’t know how I would have survived my hip surgery and the process of rehabilitation without so many of you caring for me through your meals, your prayers, cards, phone calls and visits. I am grateful that Ginny was able to be with me during the hospitalization and those first few weeks. She and I know how incredibly supportive and helpful it was for our son Andrew to take time off and care for me. But, I also had a responsibility to take care of myself, such as getting enough rest and keeping up with the exercises. And I found myself praying often, not just for my healing but for the discipline to care for myself. The story of Mary and Martha is about taking time to be with our Lord. And time with our Lord is important to our health and our ability to care for those we love.

Faithfully yours,
Pastor Paul